At the end of the last post life was at a low point.. but we were surviving. That is where I leave you for the holidays.
Just so you know... life is great today! Our Phoebe turned 2 on Saturday and we spent the weekend celebrating. Thursday we are off to Disney World for the week!
I'll finish the story later. Have a wonderful holiday.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
And she left our lives. And we had to learn how to live again.
After the longest car ride of our lives, we arrived back at the adoption agency. The director met us outside and we handed Kate over. That was our last glimpse.
We went home. Our best friend came over with beer and ice cream! We decided that the only way to get our feet back on the ground was to get out of town. I spent the next few hours on the phone with Carnival. My direct quote is "I need to get on a cruise. I don't care where it goes but it must leave from the east coast and it must leave this weekend. And I don't want an inside room." There was one cruise that fit the bill, but it was an inside room.... "I'll take it." This was Thursday night, the cruise left on Saturday. Friday night we got a call that our room had been upgraded to a balcony room for no charge!
We went away. We spent time together. We saw the sights. We practiced breathing.
I figure we had 2 choices.... Choice 1- Curl up into a shell and give up. Choice 2 - Move on. That's really only one choice.
When we got back to real life we called the agency to make sure we were still on the list and ensure them we were still ready to give this a shot.
And the waiting began again!
We went home. Our best friend came over with beer and ice cream! We decided that the only way to get our feet back on the ground was to get out of town. I spent the next few hours on the phone with Carnival. My direct quote is "I need to get on a cruise. I don't care where it goes but it must leave from the east coast and it must leave this weekend. And I don't want an inside room." There was one cruise that fit the bill, but it was an inside room.... "I'll take it." This was Thursday night, the cruise left on Saturday. Friday night we got a call that our room had been upgraded to a balcony room for no charge!
We went away. We spent time together. We saw the sights. We practiced breathing.
I figure we had 2 choices.... Choice 1- Curl up into a shell and give up. Choice 2 - Move on. That's really only one choice.
When we got back to real life we called the agency to make sure we were still on the list and ensure them we were still ready to give this a shot.
And the waiting began again!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
And home she came... for a while anyway.
And Kate came home! I was on maternity leave. We introduced her to family and made her part of ours. We went to the doctor's appointments. Life was wonderful!
On day 27 the call came. The director of our agency called to tell us that the birth mother was thinking about changing her mind.
I literally fell to the floor. I called my partner and had her come home. We got the name of a lawyer to talk to so we could see what our rights were. The director set up an appointment with the birth mother. Life was crumbling right before our eyes.
The lawyer (who is wonderful and we worked with him for the adoption of Phoebe) told us we could fight. But after lots of money and time we would most likely lose. The adoptive families have no rights.
The director of our agency met with the birth mother and was making some progress in helping her to see that the baby was better off with us. We thought things might eventually go our way.
On Oct. 31, with a glimmer of hope, we went to visit family for the weekend. The next day, as we were visiting my partner's grandparents the phone rang again. We needed to bring Kate back and return her to her birth family.
We got in the car for the longest ride of our lives.
On day 27 the call came. The director of our agency called to tell us that the birth mother was thinking about changing her mind.
I literally fell to the floor. I called my partner and had her come home. We got the name of a lawyer to talk to so we could see what our rights were. The director set up an appointment with the birth mother. Life was crumbling right before our eyes.
The lawyer (who is wonderful and we worked with him for the adoption of Phoebe) told us we could fight. But after lots of money and time we would most likely lose. The adoptive families have no rights.
The director of our agency met with the birth mother and was making some progress in helping her to see that the baby was better off with us. We thought things might eventually go our way.
On Oct. 31, with a glimmer of hope, we went to visit family for the weekend. The next day, as we were visiting my partner's grandparents the phone rang again. We needed to bring Kate back and return her to her birth family.
We got in the car for the longest ride of our lives.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A happy thought
I interrupt the story for a smile break!
Here we are playing in the first snow of the season!
Here we are playing in the first snow of the season!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Let's Do it!
OK, we went back and forth for a while. But those of you who have been through this know that you get worried that the call will never come again. We knew that there was a good chance this birth mother would change her mind again. (In NY the birth mother has 30 days to change her mind.) We knew from our HIV research that this little girl had only a 2% chance of developing the virus if her medication was administered correctly for 5 weeks. We decided that we would say yes to the adoption. In the worst case scenario we would be able to give her a healthy start to life. That was going to be enough. We called the social worker back and made arrangements for our Kate to come home!
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